Movie relationships

Christmas….a time for snuggly old films about how romantic Mr so and so is to some lucky woman. It’s the time for soppy Christmas number ones where a cute Boyband will be belt out a tune promising to me ‘yours forever’. Christmas is the time for sharing your love, being romantic and skipping along in a daydream. Bang! Then you realise, to your utter horror that reality just isn’t like this!

Romantic films; we all love them. The romantic men, the emotion involved and that great scene at the end where they all the wrongs become right and they happily mooch off into the sunset together. Growing up I was fixated by Sandy and Danny falling in love over dodgy hair dos and nifty dance routines. And what was more romantic than a bit of Dirty Dancing between Baby and Johnny. So to tell you that I was a little bit disappointed when it came to realistic relationships is an understatement. Real life relationships are nothing like the movies, and frankly, it’s just NOT FAIR!!

Movie relationships set an unrealistic perception when it comes to relationships and love. And of course guys haven’t grown up with Julia Roberts being whisked away from her life as a Hollywood hooker, so how can they ever reach the standards we expect? For one, and I know this is more unrealistic than Robbie Williams sweeping me off my feet and declaring his undying love to me, but where’s the ‘slushy cry your heart out’ music when it comes to that pivotal moment on your first date? Just think; Elton John and Blue popping on in the background while your building up that tension to your first kiss. It works in the movies, so why not in real life?

In the movies anything’s possible where love is concerned, okay I know it’s not real and we all have to go to work, make a living, blah, blah, blah. But how come men in movies drop everything, at a moments notice, and travel across the world for the woman of their dreams? When our guys won’t even move off the sofa to change the TV over?!

Romantic films never warned us about football, drunken boyfriends and rude friends. In movies the guy tries to impress the girl by winning over her parents or fighting off a baddie. Romeo even died for Juliet, now that’s true love. We have to put up with our guys ogling at other girls, Saturday afternoons on our own because, ‘the footballs on’ and laddish behaviour. Frankly Juliet just wouldn’t have put up with this behaviour, and Romeo, being the gentleman he was, wouldn’t have dared to behave this way.

I could wait my entire life, but I’m sure no guy will ever mutter the words “Nobody puts baby in the corner”, well not in any sort of romantic framing anyway. It still makes me tingle when I watch the last scene where Patrick Swayze sweeps baby off her feet, because you know (well I definitely know I’ve seen it at least 100 times) that a happy ending is not far away. Everything turns out well and their love changed lives for the better. Where’s our happy ending?

Okay so I’m not some sort of deluded freak who believes that films are actually real life, but sometimes I wish they were. Thinking about it we don’t actually know what happened after Baby and Johnny finished dancing, they may have had ‘The time of their lives’ that night but what happened afterwards? We assumed they lived happily ever after, but where’s the proof? She could have easily been just some holiday fling. No sorry I just can’t do it, they lived happily ever after, and that’s the end of it!

I know holding on to romantic films isn’t healthy; it’s only going to lead to a string of disappointed relationships. When my next boyfriend asks me the reason I dumped him I can’t really say it’s because our relationship just doesn’t live up to how it is in the movies. But where do fairytales end and real life begin...surely we can have some sort of compromise? After all if Patrick Swayze can die in Ghost, and still come back to kiss Demi for one last time, surely we can expect prince charming to appear from time to time, and sweep us off our feet. That isn’t too much to ask…is it?!

To buy or not to buy....Tis is the festive season!

There’s a difference between buying Christmas presents for a boyfriend and a guy you’ve just-met-and-kind-of-like. The latter usually gets nothing; well that’s what I thought the ‘present buying policy’ was anyway; but maybe I was wrong.

When your settled into a relationship you don’t mind spending your hard earned money on your guy; they’ve put up with your moaning, your nagging, and constant demands for sex every half an hour (you wish guys) and if they’re still with you they deserve a gold medal, or okay a few presents which you’ve at least half heartly thought about. But how are you supposed to shop for a guy you hardly know?

Looking back, I should have put more thought into it last year. Because not only does my new guy hand me one present, but two, three presents…… to my shameful none. Oops….I tried to make it up to him; by buying him lip balm for his cracked lips, but 99p doesn’t really cut it when you’ve been given three thoughtful presents.

So I suppose I’m trying to make up for it this year, by buying him thoughtful presents, and lots of them; twelve so far and at least three more to buy. I’m using the money and imagination I should have used last year to bump up his stocking with delightful surprises; and I ‘m hoping he loves them, so I don’t end up with a lump of coal and yet another black cross against my name this year.

Looking into the future I’m kind of scared of getting married, not just because of all that serious scary commitment stuff but when your settled into a marriage will you or your partner still be as thoughtful on the whole present buying thing. “Wow a knife set…it’s what I’ve always wanted” says the wife, while unwrapping her present “Oh thanks a can of paint and some wall paper for the upstairs bathroom that I’ve been meaning to redecorate” says the husband. What a hellish Christmas that would be, and I know they say it’s the thought that counts, but when you think like that maybe you should boycott Christmas all together.

My friend’s just started seeing a new guy, she’s even started calling him her boyfriend, so maybe I should warn her that lip balm isn’t a worthy present if he decides to gift wrap her Christmas. But what if she buys him a present, and there’s nothing for her in return, should she just smile and wave it off, or look hurt enough for him to buy her the contents of Thorntons?

Whatever she decides on if she’s still with him next year she’ll no doubt have to take out a loan to afford to buy his presents. Why is it when you’re attached you end up spending loads more on them than you do for anyone else? You don’t want to look like you don’t give a shit, but on the other hand you don’t want to be deep in debt for the whole of the next year, merely just for a smile on their face. It’s an expensive time of the year for us attached guys and gals, so think yourself lucky if you’re single; you’ll have more money to get pissed on New Years and join a gym the next day; while the rest of us sit slumped in front of the TV sober and penniless!