Relationship Tips.....
Relationships can sometimes be hard work; especially when you bring real life into the equation.
When you’ve been in a relationship for more than a few months all those coupley questions come flooding out; like there’s a manual called ‘Conversations with couples’ that people tend to refer to when their friends have been dating for more than two seconds. Oh the pressure of ‘So when are you two moving in together?’ and ‘Do we hear wedding bells?’ and most embarrassing one; my mum embracing the question of which hat she should wear to her daughters wedding, which daughter? Because it isn’t going to be my wedding any time soon!
Give us some room to breathe please; we’re young, we have the world at our feet….so why would we want to spoil it by spending our weekends at Ikea arguing, doing the washing up, deciding on bridesmaids dresses, or even worse….waking up to a screaming baby…..especially with a hangover!!
And then there were friends……
As much as we love them…or sometimes love to hate them, why oh why do you have to interfere? Okay so maybe we do spend our entire weekends with our boyfriends…glued to their side like they’re our missing arm, and maybe we do sometimes give up girlie nights for a night in with them. But who hasn’t been there, done it and ignored their friends for what we thought was a week but was really a few months?! You have access to modern technology too; so if you want me all you have to do is ask…it’s not like were exclusive to our boyfriends, and we can’t tear ourselves away from them for more than two seconds(We’ll try our best…think we may have used superglue). And stop telling us to call them less, see them less or anything else less…as long as they’re treating us right and were happy surely you should be happy for us too. Or is it….dare I say….jealousy?!!
Money sometimes gets in the way too…especially when you have none! In my last relationship it was the bane of my existence. My ex thought that just because he lived with me and he had to sub me my rent, only every occasional month, that if I bought a new pair of shoes, or even a little bitty magazine, that it gave him the right to argue with me until he was blue in the face, and then ignore me until I promised to save my pocket money for a rainy day. How boring – aren’t shoes more exciting than paying rent? Okay so it isn’t very realistic, and thankfully my new guy is more like me when it comes to money (we forget that it doesn’t grow on trees and our bank managers are currently tracking our every move) but there’s sometimes those awkward little moments when you’re not sure he’s going to pay or he asks you to pay and stop living off his hard earned cash (ok he doesn’t quite put it like that but I’m sure that’s what he’s thinking) and other times when you offer to pay, when you don’t really mean it, and he agrees!! Don’t get me wrong – I pay my fare share – I treat him to clothes and little treats, but when I’m down and broke, with oh but a penny to my name it would be nice for him to offer!! But it’s so not worth fighting over…I’d rather get those new shoes!!
It’s hard to get the balance right, and in a new relationship you’re just finding your feet so it can be hard work. But anyone who wants to make it work will persevere….just tell your friends to stop shoving a copy of the ‘rules’ under your nose, let your boyfriend know about your shoe/handbag/shopping (delete as appropriate) addiction and let those serious couple questions wash over you (but if they do start to bug the hell out of you tell them your pregnant, your wedding will be in Las Vegas and your emigrating to Australia, and watch them never ask you a question like that again!)
When you’ve been in a relationship for more than a few months all those coupley questions come flooding out; like there’s a manual called ‘Conversations with couples’ that people tend to refer to when their friends have been dating for more than two seconds. Oh the pressure of ‘So when are you two moving in together?’ and ‘Do we hear wedding bells?’ and most embarrassing one; my mum embracing the question of which hat she should wear to her daughters wedding, which daughter? Because it isn’t going to be my wedding any time soon!
Give us some room to breathe please; we’re young, we have the world at our feet….so why would we want to spoil it by spending our weekends at Ikea arguing, doing the washing up, deciding on bridesmaids dresses, or even worse….waking up to a screaming baby…..especially with a hangover!!
And then there were friends……
As much as we love them…or sometimes love to hate them, why oh why do you have to interfere? Okay so maybe we do spend our entire weekends with our boyfriends…glued to their side like they’re our missing arm, and maybe we do sometimes give up girlie nights for a night in with them. But who hasn’t been there, done it and ignored their friends for what we thought was a week but was really a few months?! You have access to modern technology too; so if you want me all you have to do is ask…it’s not like were exclusive to our boyfriends, and we can’t tear ourselves away from them for more than two seconds(We’ll try our best…think we may have used superglue). And stop telling us to call them less, see them less or anything else less…as long as they’re treating us right and were happy surely you should be happy for us too. Or is it….dare I say….jealousy?!!
Money sometimes gets in the way too…especially when you have none! In my last relationship it was the bane of my existence. My ex thought that just because he lived with me and he had to sub me my rent, only every occasional month, that if I bought a new pair of shoes, or even a little bitty magazine, that it gave him the right to argue with me until he was blue in the face, and then ignore me until I promised to save my pocket money for a rainy day. How boring – aren’t shoes more exciting than paying rent? Okay so it isn’t very realistic, and thankfully my new guy is more like me when it comes to money (we forget that it doesn’t grow on trees and our bank managers are currently tracking our every move) but there’s sometimes those awkward little moments when you’re not sure he’s going to pay or he asks you to pay and stop living off his hard earned cash (ok he doesn’t quite put it like that but I’m sure that’s what he’s thinking) and other times when you offer to pay, when you don’t really mean it, and he agrees!! Don’t get me wrong – I pay my fare share – I treat him to clothes and little treats, but when I’m down and broke, with oh but a penny to my name it would be nice for him to offer!! But it’s so not worth fighting over…I’d rather get those new shoes!!
It’s hard to get the balance right, and in a new relationship you’re just finding your feet so it can be hard work. But anyone who wants to make it work will persevere….just tell your friends to stop shoving a copy of the ‘rules’ under your nose, let your boyfriend know about your shoe/handbag/shopping (delete as appropriate) addiction and let those serious couple questions wash over you (but if they do start to bug the hell out of you tell them your pregnant, your wedding will be in Las Vegas and your emigrating to Australia, and watch them never ask you a question like that again!)
posted by Novelgirl | 8:54 PM
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